Divorce doesn't have to be a tragic event.
There are other narratives available than the one society writes of doom and gloom.
Typically, when friends and family are told someone is divorcing, their all to common reaction is, "Oh..I am so sorry." Then the look of pity comes over their face.
With half of people coming from divorced homes, does the larger part of society really need to be felt sorry for? Who does this serve? How does this affect the feelings of worthiness and self-esteem of ourselves and our children?
"I come from a broken home.".. You might have even said this yourself, I know I have.
Words are powerful. What we say our unconscious listens to and then makes happen. The statement "broken" reinforces the idea that there is something wrong with us, that we are less than, and in need of being fixed. It labels us as "victim".
Approximately 50% of marriages end in divorce. That's a fact, and facts are neither good or bad, they just are. Half of Americans come from homes where couples have decided it is better to live separate than together. Half the children, half the adults. Do we really want 50% the population walking around feeling broken and defective? What does that do to their ambitions and how they participate and navigate in the world?
Obviously, divorce is here to stay. It's not going away anytime soon. I'm not saying it is good or bad. It just is.
Paradigm - A frame of reference based on all the information gathered and the beliefs that have been ingrained since childbirth.
Current, outdated paradigm: Divorce is bad. The couple should stay together. They have failed, and the children will suffer.
Can we create a new paradigm to fit the world we actually live in? If not a societal shift in thinking, at least one on an individual level. I won't impose my meaning on you, as each family is so individual, with different circumstances. We get to write our own stories. I just write this to challenge you to break out of the imposed way of thinking and create your own meaning that will lift you and your family up, not tear you down.
Choose your own thoughts and assign whatever meaning you want to in life.
For the sake of ourselves and our children, let's quit beating ourselves up over our inability to stay with one person for the rest of our lives.
If you are struggling with seeing things in a more positive light, getting through and moving on, I'm here to help. Book a free consultation with me at:
Comment with your positive outlook on divorce.